I was just smoking at the back door and thinking about this.

I think porn is the most honest commodity on the internet out there today.

Why? What you see is what you get. Or rather, you want to see some movies and pictures, you sign up, you get the movies and pictures. Full stop (period). You can cancel at any time, you can complain to your CC company if you are ripped off (chargebacks) and generally you paid for a royal wank, although you have to get your own condoms.

Mainstream… what a bunch of fucking shite

What you see is definitely NOT what you get.

Gambling systems… NO SUCH THING.

Weight loss… even doctors don’t know how nutrition affects the body, but there are a million quack websites out there promising to do more for your health than your GP.

Pills… there’s a pill for everything out there these days, but they still can’t cure athlete’s foot or the common cold.

Get rich quick… yeah, make the guy selling rich first before reading his ebook and realizing the only way to get rich is to sell your own ebook to the gullible…

Tangible products… yeah yeah, lots of good priced internet shops out there, but the price comparison websites and “review” sites don’t really give a shit about them, they are not fans, they just want your referral fee.

But what about cross sells and email sign ups, and reviews sites stealing signups, but this is the “dodgy” side of porn, for which there is an equal method in all mainstream methods too.

For example, the FSA (in the UK) regulates financial institutions, America has it’s equivalent I’m sure… but it doesn’t stop fraud, embezzlement, back handers…

Speaking of cross sells, who has ever bought a mobile phone and then got billed for $5 for monthly insurance that they didn’t even ask for?

So that is that particular argument “neutralized”.

And walking into an electronics store and buying a brand new HD Ready TV, and being sold a SCART lead (nope, need an HDMI cable motherfuckers, SCART doesn’t carry the signal).

And the SCART lead has to be one of those copper/gold $45 jobbies, because the salesman doesn’t want to take a hit and sell you the $15 one, on the promise that the image quality won’t be good enough, and that is despite the fact that you haven’t got the hardware to even get the benefits anyways…

Yeah, so stick to porn… You know what you’re getting!

PREMIUM PORN

Ok, I just wanna give ya’ll a little update on what is happening at pornsite headquarters, the place where all teh evilous porn webmasters congregate and discuss how we are gonna take over the world and subvert governments with TITTIES! And perhaps some PUSSY too!

Alright, I confess, not that much exciting has happened. Until that is sexy geek girl athena hollow, Nymphomaniac and computer geek sex goddess extraordinaire, decided to sell her Wii. Nintendo Wii that is. Dirty boy! If you read that as the other kind of “wee” then shame on you!

Now, rumor has it that she will autograph it to go along with the sale. Not only that, but I have some insider information. Apparantly she used to play it naked. Very naked. So naked in fact, that the Wiimote controller actually found it’s way into allsorts of nooks and cranny’s. Not the intended use by the designers, but she sure was smiling the morning after.

So if you fancy having a bid (and I’m sorry, I DID try and get her to include a pair of panties, but she wouldn’t play ball) then check out the sexy Wii sale here.

Whilst we are on the more unusal side of porno happenings, did you ever imagine little green men in your pornographic fantasies?

No, neither did I. Funny that.

Well, I say little green men, but apparantly they are “hot green chicks”. Yeah right, that makes it loooads better. I think it’s this thing called Sci Fi porn (people getting all excited about the new Star Trek movie no doubt) but REVTK over at Explicit Planet decided it was exciting enough to warrant a mention. Come to think of it, he doesn’t often post chicks of his missus who is supposedly into all this bondage and lifestyle stuff… you don’t think she is actually a Martian do you? You know, keeps her off camera and all to hisself because she is actually green.

Well fair play to you REVTK, if little greenies in skirts gets you off, I salute you sir. Just stay away from me you freak.

Only kidding mate… or am I?

Laters peeps.

The Wolf. Once the bane of prehistoric man’s life. The wolf symbolises the predator that man once fled from in terror, the howl of a hungry wolf late at night would send shivers down the spine of the weary traveller on the lowly mountain road.

Then man invented shotguns. Nowadays, the only kind of predatory wolf you are likely to meet is on the internet, a self styled bad ass with a gangsta name BadWolf. Yeah, he’s baaad.

He really is bad. He got himself banned from an internet board and set up his own. But I’m not saying which order he did this in. And now he only has to fear the lawyers. But this wolf has a bite and will be looking to snag some lawyer trouser pants. Oh, these lawyers are imaginary by the way, scare stories. See? Man used to be scared of the wolf, and stories were made up about the wolf. Nowadays it is stories about lawyers that are made up to try and scare the wolf. Geddit?

By the way, if anyone knows what “wolf porn” is, then please go and fill him in.

I also want to introduce a new suspect ghey into the mix. This one was pretty low on the radar, but has recently come out of the closet and publically proclaimed that he doesn’t like babes. Figures. Read the post here.

Hardcoreblogger is a good mate of mine, ya see, but I had no idea that he didn’t like pussy. Well HCB, if ya ever wanna chat about your feelings, you know where you can find me. Just don’t get all touchy feely, ok? And if you get horny, then I’ll slip ya flips mobile number, he’s always up for some naughty all male banter.