It’s official!

Oh yes, it most certainly is. I conducted a survey, by taking a look around me, now if that aint official I don’t know what is. Anyways, porn, rather than being the destroyer of love, the enemy of the relationship, can actually SAVE your marriage, SAVE your relationship and PROTECT your offspring from having a broken home… Here’s how it works:

Culture. Humans adopted culture at some point along the evolutionary scale. Humans are the only species to have adopted culture, although some species show signs of primitive culture, but we won’t get into that. Culture is the reason that a beautiful fat woman can be revered in one country, but despised in another. Culture is what WE CREATE all around us. It is wearing a suit and tie, as opposed to wearing a funny dressing gown thing with a turban or something. Culture is MONOGAMY. Or rather, monogamy is an expression of culture.

Monogamy means taking only ONE woman or man to be your husband or wife. Everyone else does it, so we do it to. It is not accepted CULTURALLY to be a cheat, to be bigomous or to commit adultery. (Ok, I’m excluding the countries where having a harem of wives is the perfect norm, provided you can afford to keep them).

So why didn’t anyone tell my dick ???

Aha, so now we see culture is clashing with the genes inherent in each and every one of us. Sure, we’ve all had a relationship where for the first year or two you can only think of your new love, your beloved soulmate that you solemnly swear will be by your side forever. But then it happens. One day you are walking down the street, and a cute girl (or guy) bends over and you catch a glimpse of her hot, pert ass and maybe even a flash of pantie. DAMN I’d like a go on that you think. NO. WAIT. What have I done? I’m with my beloved, why am I having thoughts like this? Don’t worry, dear friend, you are not alone. Private thoughts like this abound. Just let it out, be healthy, it’s your GENES talking to you. Your genes “want” to spread you see. The best way a GENE can get itself spread throughout evolution is to make you get a hard on whenever an attractive woman is within reach.

But we have come a long way since prehistoric cavemen times, whereby bashing a hot girlie over the head and dragging her to a cave to make babies is perfectly acceptable. Oh yes, we’ve come on a long way. We are civilized. We start families. We commit to one partner. BUT WE STILL GET HARD ONS (and wet pussies).

If we give in to our hard ons, we cause all kinds of problems. Broken relationships, broken homes, fatherless children, reputation, spreading sexual diseases, unwanted pregnancies… to name but a few. So we cover up all the exteral lust and pretend to be happily married boys and girls. And we are to a large extent, everything is perfect… except that need to copulate with as many other humans as we can until we die.

Porn To The Rescue.

So, we build up anxiety, we feel we are missing out, we resign ourselves to a life of housework, fixing the car and even in extreme cases going to dance classes *shudder*

It needn’t be this way. Watch porn! Knock one out. Have a jerk off. Use the internet to investigate all kinds of pussy, cock, ass, tits, you name it, play the field, live a little, get your quota of coochie through the screen in front of you! Join the interwebs and jack off. You can be casanova. You can fuck em all.

Internet porn is like safe sex. You don’t bring home diseases, you don’t give birth to unwanted offspring. If you get caught, you are offered “help” instead of divorce.

It’s the perfect solution! Find your favorite site, become a member, and then once a week get a little jiggy with Mr Biggy. Girls, find some cock, rub your nub until you can’t rub it no more.

It will save your marriage, your relationship, you didn’t cheat, you won’t get ill… Perfect. Porn can save the world. FACT.

So, to get started, here is a link to the number one Women of Playboy (clickme). Men can sleep around there from the comfort of their own office, and women can explore their lesbian side.

Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

The Wolf. Once the bane of prehistoric man’s life. The wolf symbolises the predator that man once fled from in terror, the howl of a hungry wolf late at night would send shivers down the spine of the weary traveller on the lowly mountain road.

Then man invented shotguns. Nowadays, the only kind of predatory wolf you are likely to meet is on the internet, a self styled bad ass with a gangsta name BadWolf. Yeah, he’s baaad.

He really is bad. He got himself banned from an internet board and set up his own. But I’m not saying which order he did this in. And now he only has to fear the lawyers. But this wolf has a bite and will be looking to snag some lawyer trouser pants. Oh, these lawyers are imaginary by the way, scare stories. See? Man used to be scared of the wolf, and stories were made up about the wolf. Nowadays it is stories about lawyers that are made up to try and scare the wolf. Geddit?

By the way, if anyone knows what “wolf porn” is, then please go and fill him in.

I also want to introduce a new suspect ghey into the mix. This one was pretty low on the radar, but has recently come out of the closet and publically proclaimed that he doesn’t like babes. Figures. Read the post here.

Hardcoreblogger is a good mate of mine, ya see, but I had no idea that he didn’t like pussy. Well HCB, if ya ever wanna chat about your feelings, you know where you can find me. Just don’t get all touchy feely, ok? And if you get horny, then I’ll slip ya flips mobile number, he’s always up for some naughty all male banter.